Don’t let this list depress you. The opposite sex and your own will find your experience, your confidence and assurance more interesting. You are a man and no longer a callow youth. Age gracefully and enjoy it.
Your son’s tee-shirt. Your football club tees. Slogan tees. Jokey tees. Keep it simple.
Tight jeans. Even if you’re in great shape, keep it subtle. If you’re single, women will appreciate it. If you’re not, your spouse will appreciate it even more.
Sports watches. Your days of pretending to be a deep sea diver are over. Wear classic stainless steel, gold or leather strap watches.
Laptop haversacks. Buy the satchel version or your junior colleagues will definitely have a laugh at your expense at the next office party.
Aviator glasses. No matter how cool they may look on you, the best way to go is rimless, wire or black frame.
Ear-rings. Nothing says ‘midlife crisis’ better.
Hair colour and toupees and let’s not forget, hair weaves. You may think a receding hairline and grays add years to your face but all they actually add is character. Remember, Rushdie married Padma Lakshmi.
A wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
Disney-themed neckties. Or let’s make that something you should never wear after the age of one.
